Life is funny and sometimes it’s hard, so, embracing humor is a must. Sometimes things are so bad, but we have to find a reason to smile. When life kicks you in the face, have a look to this best sarcastic morning quotes, it can soften its blow. 

I have a lot of growing up to do. I realized that the other day inside my fort Zach Galifianakis

Trying is the first step toward failure Homer Simpson

Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination Oscar Wilde

If we’re going to pay this much for crab, it better sing and dance and introduce us to the Little Mermaid Claire Foster

You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there George Burns

Money cannot buy health, but I’d settle for a diamond-studded wheelchair Dorothy Parker

Thanksgiving dinners take 18 hours to prepare. They are consumed in 12 minutes. Half-times take 12 minutes. This is not a coincidence Erma Bombeck

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me Noel Coward

I’d like to have a kid, but I’m not sure I’m ready to spend 10 years of my life constantly asking someone where his shoes are Damien Fahey

Never do anything out of hunger. Not even eating Frank Semyon

My ability to turn good news into anxiety is rivaled only by my ability to turn anxiety into chin acne Tina Fey

I remember it like it was yesterday. Of course, I don’t really remember yesterday all that well Ellen DeGeneres

My husband and I fell in love at first sight. Maybe I should have taken a second look Halley Reed

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow just as well Mark Twain

People say, ‘But Betty, Facebook is a great way to connect with old friends.’ Well, at my age, if I want to connect with old friends I need a Ouija board Betty White

I’m sure wherever my Dad is, he’s looking down on us. He’s not dead, just very condescending Jack Whitehall

Eggs are fantastic for a fitness diet. If you don’t like the taste, just add cocoa, flour, sugar, butter, baking powder and cook at 350 for 30 minutes

There is one word that describes people that don’t like me: Irrelevant

Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves Robin Williams

I don’t have to take this abuse from you; I’ve got hundreds of people dying to abuse me Dr. Peter Venkman

I can’t end my messages with Love, Shaq because the B-52s ruined that for me Meme attributed to Shaquille O’Neal

I never forget a face—but in your case, I’ll be glad to make an exception Groucho Marx

My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I’ve finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already Dave Barry

Here’s something to think about: How come you never see a headline like Psychic Wins Lottery Jay Leno

From the ages of eight to 18, me and my family moved around a lot. Mostly we would just stretch, but occasionally one of us would actually get up to go to the fridge Jarod Kintz

My therapist says I’m afraid of success. I guess I could understand that, because after all, fulfilling my potential would really cut into my sitting-around time Maria Bamford

Accept who you are. Unless you’re a serial killer Ellen DeGeneres

A day without sunshine is like, you know, night Steve Martin

To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people Jamie Lee Curtis

No one can ever bring the morning back at midnight Munia Khan